Life is Not Fair

“That’s not fair!” is a phrase hopefully not heard often in the Castle household. We have outlawed our daughters from the drama of yelling it after they don’t get their way. Our usual response to them is “Fair? You want fair? I’ll give you fair!” Okay. We don’t say it quite like that. It’s more like, “We should be glad that we don’t get what is fair. God shows us mercy everyday and we show you mercy.” or something like that. Larry is much better at waxing eloquent when lecturing the children.

Most of the time when they say “It’s not fair” what they really mean is “I am not being treated the same as my sister.” If they would just cry that I might be okay with it. I may fall over from the shock, but it would be true. We don’t always treat the girls the same. They are very different people.

But what happens when my kids are treated “not the same” by others? What is my reaction when gifts or time given to my kids is not the same amount of time or gifts given to…let’s say…their cousins by their grandma?

I want to cry “That’s not fair!” I want to yell, “Hey! My kids are special too. They are the best kids in the world! Can’t you see that?” Of course I don’t say that out loud. I’m an adult. I’ve learned more sophisticated sinful ways of dealing with my disappointment.

Today was the last day of Spring Break for the kids. I took the afternoon off so we could do something fun together. My Dad had suggested we go bowling and the girls thought it was a great idea. As we we’re getting ready to leave one on the girls lost her lunch on the driveway. Again…so not fair. We we’re going to have fun. Instead, I got to stay home with a sickie and Larry and the other girls went without us.

I could go on for hours. Whining about how “unfair” I have it. I know. Give me a break, right?

It definitely is not fair that my toes are that cute.

Thankfully Life is not Fair.

Fair would be an eternal separation from God.

Fair would be punishment for my sin without the forgiveness of merciful God.

Fair would be miserable.

Maybe I could say Life is pain or Life is Hard.

But it is not fair.

The Best Things Are Not Things

Christmas has always been a favorite time of year for me mostly because my Mom always made it so perfect for us all. She always did a great job a surprising us and getting us exactly what we wanted. Even if we didn’t ask for something the gifts were always great. I don’t really remember the presents, but I do remember eating pizza every Christmas Eve. And my Mom being so excited about the presents she bought us that sometimes we opened all our presents that night.  My favorite memory is when I was about ten she hid our presents all over the house and left us clues. She never really got to enjoy herself because she wanted it to be perfect. I didn’t really understand that pressure until I became a mother myself. You want to make your children happy by getting them all the things they want. But in reality, things don’t make them happy.

It just makes them want more things.

We did have a great Christmas. My favorite part was going to White Christmas with the whole family. Larry surprised me for my birthday. He made up these cute little poems on cards and then drove me downtown for lunch and to buy tickets at the box office. He scored big points that day.

So last Saturday we all dressed up and went to the Fox and had a great time. The girls were overwhelmed with the whole experience. One of them was dizzy from all the sights. Or it could be that we were so high up. We ate cinnamon almonds and bought $3 pops and twizzlers. My Dad fell asleep and thankfully no one had to go to the bathroom so I could see the whole thing. Larry said his favorite part was just watching me getting all misty-eyed at the last scene when the snow fell from the ceiling. It was just beautiful.

We spent a lot of money on the day and I don’t have any “thing” to show for it except a program and some pictures and some wonderful memories. And one day my girls probably won’t remember the Littlest Pet Shop Toys or the new coat or even the mini-video camera, but they will hopefully remember all the fun we had together.